Responding to child deaths can be one of the hardest parts of police work. Officers arrive to help during a family’s worst moment. Yet the impact of the call may stay with the officer long after the scene is cleared.
A child death can bring grief, anger, guilt, or shock. It can also cause sleep problems or unwanted memories. These reactions can happen even to officers with years of experience.
Feeling the impact does not make you weak. You are human, and your mental health matters.
Why Child Death Calls Can Be So Hard
Some calls are harder to leave behind.
A child death may remind you of your own children or family. You may replay what you saw or heard. You may also wonder if something could have been done in a different way.
At times, there may be no clear answer.
You responded when a family needed help. You did your job during an awful moment. Still, you may need time and support after the call.
Common Reactions After a Child Death Call
Your response may begin right away. However, it may also appear hours or days later.
You may feel sad, angry, numb, or upset. You may have trouble sleeping. Images from the scene may return when you do not expect them.
You may also notice:
- Shock or disbelief.
- Grief or sadness.
- Guilt or self-blame.
- Anger or frustration.
- Trouble sleeping.
- Feeling numb or distant.
- Headaches or body tension.
- Unwanted thoughts or memories.
There is no single “right” way to react.
Caring for Yourself After the Call
After responding to child deaths, give yourself time to reset.
First, check in with yourself. Notice how you feel in your body and mind. Then, talk with someone you trust.
A peer, supervisor, chaplain, counselor, or family member may be able to help.
Also, take care of basic needs. Eat. Drink water. Rest when you can. Move your body. Use breathing or grounding tools if the call keeps replaying in your mind.
Small actions can help.
Lean on Your Team
Police officers often understand each other in ways that others cannot.
Therefore, peer support can be an important part of healing after a hard call.
Check in with the officers who were there. Ask how they are doing. More importantly, listen when they answer.
You do not need to fix everything. Sometimes being present is enough.
Know When to Reach Out
A hard call may affect you for a while. However, pay attention if the impact begins to grow.
You may need more support if you have nightmares, flashbacks, anger, trouble sleeping, or problems at home. You may also start avoiding reminders of the call or using alcohol or other substances to cope.
Do not wait until things become worse.
Early support can help.
You Can Wear the Badge and Ask for Help
Police work asks officers to step into moments most people will never see.
That does not mean you should carry every call alone.
Talk to your peer support team. Use your EAP. Speak with a chaplain or mental health professional. Stay connected with the people you trust.
Most of all, remember this:
You showed up. You cared. You helped a family through one of the hardest moments of their lives. Now, it is okay to take care of you.
