Police officers face situations most people will never experience. A difficult call can bring fear, frustration, grief, shock, or anger. Sometimes those feelings end when the call ends. However, other times they follow you home.
Managing anger after difficult calls does not mean ignoring what happened. Instead, it means understanding your reaction and finding healthy ways to deal with it.
Anger is human. What you do with it matters.
Why Anger Can Happen After a Difficult Call
Some calls stay with you.
For example, you may witness violence, serious injury, abuse, or death. You may feel helpless when you cannot change an outcome. In addition, repeat calls or situations that feel unfair can build frustration over time.
Stress may also build when you are already tired.
As a result, one difficult call can feel like the final straw.
Anger itself is not always the problem. Instead, it can be a signal that something underneath needs attention.
Notice What Anger Looks Like
Anger does not always look like yelling.
For instance, you may become impatient or easily irritated. You may replay the call in your head. Your muscles may stay tense. You may have trouble sleeping or relaxing.
In addition, you may pull away from family or become short with people you care about.
Therefore, learning your own signs can help you respond before anger takes control.
Pause Before You React
After a difficult call, give yourself a moment when circumstances allow.
First, stop.
Next, take a slow breath.
Then notice what is happening in your body and mind.
Are your muscles tight?
Is your heart racing?
Are you still thinking about the call?
Finally, choose what you want to do next.
A short pause can give your mind time to catch up with your emotions.
Find Healthy Ways to Release Anger
Anger creates energy. Therefore, it can help to give that energy somewhere healthy to go.
You might take a walk, run, exercise, or stretch. Likewise, deep breathing can help your body slow down.
You could also write about the call or talk with someone you trust.
For some officers, music, hobbies, time outdoors, or time with family can help them reset.
Most importantly, find something that works for you.
Know Your Triggers
Certain situations may affect you more than others.
For example, calls involving children may stay with you. A death may remind you of someone you lost. Meanwhile, back-to-back calls can leave little time to recover.
Lack of sleep can make things harder too.
Therefore, pay attention to patterns.
When you know your triggers, you can notice stress earlier and take action sooner.
Don’t Carry Every Call Home
Leaving work at work is not always easy.
However, creating a routine after your shift can help your mind move from duty to home.
For example, you might change clothes, take a shower, exercise, sit quietly for a few minutes, or listen to music before joining your family.
A simple routine can tell your body that the call is over and you are home now.
Talk to Someone Who Gets It
Police culture can make it tempting to keep difficult emotions to yourself.
However, bottled-up stress can build.
Talk with a trusted officer, peer support member, chaplain, counselor, or someone else you trust.
You do not need to tell everyone everything.
Still, having one person you can talk to can make a difference.
Protect Your Relationships
Sometimes the people closest to you receive the anger that began somewhere else.
You may snap at your partner.
You may lose patience with your children.
You may withdraw because you do not want to talk.
If you notice this happening, pause.
Explain that you had a difficult day. Then, if you need some time to decompress, say so.
Clear communication can help protect the relationships that matter most.
Avoid Unhealthy Ways of Coping
Some ways of coping may bring short-term relief but create bigger problems later.
For example, using alcohol or drugs to numb emotions can make stress harder to manage. Likewise, isolating yourself can remove important sources of support.
Taking anger out on other people can also damage relationships.
Instead, try to deal with the emotion before it builds.
Rest Matters
Long shifts and poor sleep can make emotional control harder.
Therefore, rest should be part of your mental wellness plan.
Protect your sleep when possible. Eat regularly. Drink water. Take breaks when you can.
These steps may sound simple. However, your body handles stress better when its basic needs are met.
Know When to Ask for More Support
Sometimes anger does not fade after a few days.
You may feel constantly on edge. You may experience flashbacks or intrusive thoughts. Perhaps you cannot sleep, or your relationships are beginning to suffer.
If that happens, reach out.
Peer support, an Employee Assistance Program, a department chaplain, or a mental health professional can provide another level of support.
Getting help early may prevent a difficult period from becoming a larger problem.
You Can Control Your Response
You cannot control every call.
You cannot control every outcome.
However, you can learn how to care for yourself afterward.
Managing anger after difficult calls is not about becoming emotionless. Instead, it is about recognizing what you feel, understanding why you feel it, and choosing what you do next.
Take the pause.
Take the breath.
Talk when you need to.
Ask for help when the weight becomes too much.
You spend your career protecting other people.
Your mental health deserves protection too.
